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“Oh I will show them through this drill. They will get it.”
“Oh they didn’t get it. Got to try another drill. Then they will get it.”
“They still didn’t get it. Why didn’t they get it. Ok try something else.”
“Argh! They still didn’t get it. They will never get it. Why try something else. Just accept they won’t get it.”

This same internal dialog can occur for the counselor, teacher, mentor, pastor, and even parent. It is the frustration of someone who thinks they have the ability to control the outcome of another’s development.

Coaching, like teaching, mentoring and even parenting can seem like a course of futility. I am reminded that such frustration is not the issue of the one I try to coach. It is my issue of control. “If I do this, they will do that.” That is a control issue.

Coaching is a matter of serving. It is a matter of coming along side in the journey of learning. It is giving perspective, guidelines, encouragement and structure. But we don’t use those to control, thinking we can control the outcome. They may not get it.

But by grace, they do get it. Not of a work of the coach no matter how clever and wise but in some moment of mystery it happens. They develop because it is in the divine design of human development. That development will not happen without an environment that gives structure and support. But we delude ourselves if we think we with the right structures and supportive actions will make the results we want in a young person’s or anyone of any age’s life. So as coach or counselor or pastor or mentor or teacher or parent, we only act out of serving, cooperate with and have faith in the Grace Designer and stay the course because we are responsible to lead and called to care and remind ourselves that we are not in control of results.

Trust and Obey as the old song goes.

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