Tonight I was answering my daughter’s question, “Why do people do bad things such as shooting children?”. I tried to give, in simply terms, an answer that in reality, is complex. I sought to explain the process of sin, evil and humanities’ brokenness to her. I steered the conversation to examining our own propensity to do wrong and to harden our own hearts and how important repentance is and to keep our hearts soft. (Believe it or not I did keep it in simple terms). She has asked me many hard questions in her short almost nine years. Parenting is challenging to say the least.

It breaks my heart to think how many children are struggling these days with that very question my daughter brought up to me. “Whys” are always hard to answer. They are also hard to ask. I am so sad and wish I could keep her from such painful reflections. “The truth will set you free…but first it will make you miserable.” Sometimes grace is ugly, messy and painful. Hard things may cultivate deep character or harden hearts that avoid the deep work of the soul. I am trusting God that He is doing something deep within her.

At the same time I was awaken tonight by a nightmare of betrayal and a plot against my character. I think it was a combination of being emotionally spent and having msg in my food I ate tonight. I’m spent but now I cannot sleep. So I write.

Please God, in your deep work in Joelle’s life, protect her from evil and keep her heart soft. I also ask that for myself and for all your children.

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