About six months ago, while putting my then eight year old daughter to bed, she asked me a very crucial question and I wrote my reactions to the conversation we had. She said, “Daddy, I believe in God but what if He isn’t? Sometimes I wonder. We don’t see Him, so how do we know? I do believe He’s real. Dad, how do you know God is true?” All I was ready for was a bed time kiss and the words “I love you, daddy”. This hit me from the blindside.

My heart hurt hearing this. I so much fantasize she will have this unshakable connection with God and He will always assure her of His Presence in her life. Don’t we all have unrealistic fantasies about our children’s journey, whatever they would be. But I realized this was a new dimension of her faith journey. At eight years old, she now has the seeds of doubt enter into her mind.

So we talked about why we may doubt and how we can be reassured that He truly is. I told her of the many great ways He has come through for me as well as the deep assurance and inner voice within my heart. And of the powerful work of His Word in my life. I asked her how does she know now and how having doubts is normal and can sharpen our belief of God.

Now my faith is challenged as I must trust that God is doing His good work in her, even in the process of doubt. I am convinced that doubt is not the enemy but friend of faith. Apathy is the true enemy. Doubt is the friend that challenges and sharpens as its intent can be for good even glory.

But I must trust it. For it is a dark part of the journey. Along with suffering, it is the tough, thorny part of the pathway and as her father it is the hardest place for me to see in her. I much love more the joy she expresses in God. Yet there is peace if only I find myself laying down at his feet.

Once again I climb up that mountain, prepared to make that sacrifice.

Advertisements