I was paid a “compliment” when someone told me after speaking on brokenness that people can receive it because I am such a masculine dude. I wondered what he meant? (yes it came from a man not a woman). That retreat I spoke with many tears, told of power made perfect in weakness and led with my heart freely.

So what does being a masculine dude mean? I have all these images of my youth stream through my head from John Wayne to Zatoichi. And what difference did that make in this man’s mind to the reception of the audience regarding my words on brokenness? I was funny at times. I don’t remember mentioning sports or scratching myself in inappropriate manners. Hmmm. I did challenge. I talked at times firmly.

I think it was that perhaps for the first time in many of the people watching and listening to me they noticed a man broken but not falling apart. They saw strength, heard conviction and felt compassion. Maybe it was one of the few if only times they saw someone who led out of the weak places but not appearing one down and defeated. Hmmm.

Tough and tender doen’t usually mix in the image of the masculine. I am grateful that I am a bit of an enigma to some. I trust that is the mysterious work of Christ’s grace within me.

and by far God is not finished with me yet.