After a conversation with a gentleman from my home church it got me thinking. He asked me how’s my lungs. I told him how there has been improvement because I haven’t had any set backs for 18 months or so. He told me he asked because he hasn’t heard my cough in service this winter, Apparently, my cough is distinctive enough (and loud enough) to be recognized. It was such an unexpected affirmation and encouragement. My lungs has suffered many a rough winters. Over fifteen winters have past since half my lungs scarred up from my connective tissue disorder. And winters have been the hardest. For ways I cannot in any means understand, grace has been granted for this season of my journey. I am grateful.
Reflecting on this moment (actually while I was in the shower) what came to me was that grace is unpredictable but totally reliable. I can’t put God’s work of grace in my life into a box or a formula for my desired outcome. It is completely mysterious. It does not guarantee that my body will hold up. No more than it guarantee someone a spouse or a nice paying job or a trouble free life. Saints with more faith than you or I have lived with broken bodies, singleness, poverty and great travail. What they knew though is that grace was there in their brokenness, loneliness, hunger and pain. Sometimes there appears relief in those areas. That is grace. But many times grace enters in rather than removes.
Though God’s grace is unpredictable, it is totally reliable. Growing in my relationship with the living God has shown me that I cannot know how grace will fall upon me. I just know that it will. Faith is my assurance in not what is seen but in whom I trust.
My old friend and I have had a long dialog that has covered several years on whether God is involved in the details of our lives, if at all. It is only in experiencing His Grace can we be assured. Not by the external signs of our lives but by the Spirit of God that works within us the knowledge of our connection with the Living God.
I am grateful for the improvements in my lungs but I am completely surrender to whatever His Grace gives and choose to rejoice always.