This is the exhortation that came to my mind today:
“Do not let fixation on discouragement keep from remembering encouragement. Neither fixate on encouragement to avoid the grieving in discouragement. Grieving and rejoicing are bed fellows.”

I rejoice in the improvements regarding my lungs and being able to do much more than even two years ago. This exists in the midst of sadness over the loss of vision that is in part because of my struggle with glaucoma. It is sometimes confusing for me to be feeling better in one part of my body and struggle with another part. I feel both grieving and gladness mixing throughout my day. I catch myself in this bi-polar predicament and scratch my head.

I think I am a mutt of emotions: part sad, part anxious, part excited, part mad, part mad and part tender. I am learning to have them co-exist together instead of allowing only one   at a time while denying all others. It’s a much more complicated dance but a much more beautiful one.

Grace works within me to create such beauty and I recognize my resistance. Help me trust more.

The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised. Job 1:21
p.s. The book publishing process is nearly done. Createspace (the publisher) is making one more correction and then will send me one last hard copy for proofing. When I approve, they get it onto Amazon.com. It is days away! A mutt of emotions I have been and now my tail wags more and more.
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